20 Myths about Sex
Common misconceptions we need to stop believing
In my line of work and also by listening to people speaking, to information given on TV and generally society nowadays, I realise there is a big misconception about numerous topics related to sexuality. Aside from the fact that I believe sexual education in schools is incredibly limited, worldwide, there is a lot of wrong information given out daily from many different sources, including social media.
Therefore, I decided to put together a few myths related to sex and sexuality in general to put some light on this Oh so secretive topic!
Let’s start looking at some of these common myths about sex!
What do you say…True or False?
1. Size matters
The G-spot is found about 2cm in the vagina, therefore it’s easily accessible!
2. Men and women need to orgasm at the same time during penetration
FALSE. It’s very difficult to orgasm at the same time because men and women have different orgasm rhythms. Men orgasm faster and reach their peak, after which they need a refractory period (a period of time where they cannot get another erection). Women may take longer to orgasm but can have several different rhythms depending on each woman. They may reach their peak and stop, they may remain at high level and have an one orgasm after the other with short breaks in between, or many orgasms one after the other as a continuum. See the picture below.
3. Sex is penetration
Sex is NOT only penetration. Oral sex, anal sex, intimate touching, kissing, licking etc. All of it is Sex.
4. You shouldn´t masturbate when you´re in a relationship
FALSE. Masturbation is self-care. It is part of your sexuality and your right to healthy sexual pleasure. It is not a replacement of any sexual relation with a partner. It is part of your self-exploration and a very important part of getting to know yourself, what arouses you, what doesn’t, how you like it and how you don’t. If you don’t know, how can you partner know?
5. Pornography is catastrophic for a relationship
Porn can be watched together for more sexual excitement, or for your own excitement. Porn does NOT replace the sexual relations between couples, nor does it mean all sexual relations should be exactly like it.
6. Sex should last at least 30 minutes
Sex, as previously defined, can vary in its duration as it is affected by many factors, e.g. Duration of foreplay, sexual excitement, tiredness, stress, tension etc.
7. The man should always make the woman orgasm
Women are also responsible for their orgasms, it can depend on their muscular strength, their mental state, if they´re relaxed or tensed, how comfortable they feel, level of trust etc.
8. Men are always ready for sex
Men are human too, affected by their mental state, and may sometimes simply not feel up for it!
9. Men think about sex every 7 seconds
Study found men had an average of 19 thoughts/day about sex. Not 8000!
10. Men like/want sex more often than women
FALSE. Women can like and want sex as often as men, and sometimes more. It does not depend on gender; it is subjective to each individual’s sexual appetite.
11. Women can´t get pregnant during their period
FALSE. They can. Sperm can still travel up the vagina, and in the case of younger men, the sperm is stronger and can survive longer, therefore there’s more chances of it reaching the egg.
12. All women experience orgasm through intercourse
About 85% of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. It is HIGHLY unlikely a woman will orgasm through penetration only.
13. Only men have wet dreams
Women do too! Only it doesn´t show as much as it does in men, women experience vaginal wetness, and it doesn´t happen as often as it does in men.
14. Your sex life gets worse after marriage
NO, it normally gets better! More trust, more experiments, more frequency. However, this is again subjective to each couple.
15. Only men watch porn
FALSE. Women watch porn too. It can be arousing to everyone.
16. Only men cheat
FALSE. There is a bigger percentage of men who cheat, however, there are also a lot of women who cheat too. It is not solely a man thing.
17. The hymen is torn after the first intercourse
FALSE! First of all, some women don´t even have one. Secondly, it is a thin membrane which may be torn by a variety of non-sexual activities, it may also NOT be torn during penetration and it can actually heal itself after being torn, therefore, making it completely worthless as an indicator of virginity.
18. The clitoris is a button you press and the woman orgasms
The clitoris is actually a complex organ, far bigger than the nub of flesh externally shown, and can be stimulated from numerous places, such as the labia, the g-spot and the anus.
19. Good sex ends in orgasm
FALSE. Sex is about enjoying the whole sexual act. It is about the journey, not the destination. Having to reach orgasm after every sexual interaction may sometimes put a lot of pressure on the act and thus create problems such as sexual dysfunctions, lack of sexual appetite etc. Sex is an intimate time you have with yourself or with other(s), enjoying the connection and the pleasure throughout. If it ends in orgasm that’s great, if it doesn’t that’s great.
20. If you’re into each other, sex will automatically be great
First of all, some people just have a better connection between them than others. However, the path to pleasurable sex consists of getting to know each other. Talking and showing to each other what you like and what you don’t like in bed. Neither is a mind-reader. You have to tell them. Guide them. Communication is the key to all relationships.
Photography: Fer Castro https://ferfoto68.wixsite.com/fercastro
Did you know all of these myths? What ‘s your opinion?
I invite you to add any more that may come to mind or to comment on any of the ones mentioned above!
It’s important to start talking about sexuality more openly in order to educate the world. What’s mostly talked about is what you should Avoid, Be careful of, Should or Shouldn’t do. For example:
- Don’t get pregnant
- Careful not to get an STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection)
- Don’t sleep with too many men
- Sleep with as many women as you can
What about all the pleasure you can get out of sex?
The connection you feel with someone?
The closeness and the intimacy?
The self-exploration to get to know your body?
The dopamine that gets released? The love that you feel towards yourself or someone else?
How it increases your self-esteem to feel sexy, to feel loved?
The different ways you can reach orgasm?
Etc.
Communication is the key to all relationships!
If you have any questions or doubts about anything related, don´t hesitate to contact me.
All of my information is on my website www.daphnepsicosexologa.com.
Daphne Christofides
Photography: Rebecca Pericleous
