What's the meaning of sexual empowerment
Sexual empowerment is becoming a more popular expression these days, particularly with celebrations such as International Women's Day. Brands, influencers, and self-help gurus come across this concept, even though for some people it is not completely clear what it is about.
It is not that we have to philosophise everything, especially when it comes to social sciences, but I consider it useful to talk about ideas like this. So, let's go deeper into the concept as well as my opinion as a therapist and sexologist.
Sexual empowerment, a definition
From my point of view, sexual empowerment is not completely conceptualised, it is somehow a subjective construct and it’s valid for everyone to have a different view of it. Besides sexual orientation and gender, sexual empowerment is a process closely linked to the social and cultural context.
According to some theorists, sexual empowerment is comprehended as "a multidimensional process comprising a variety of attitudes and behaviours, including among others, having a healthy body image; accepting and validating one's own sexual desire; feeling that one has the right to express one's sexuality; having expectations of sexual pleasure; recognising and being clear about one's own sexual desires; being able to communicate these desires to one's partner; refusing unwanted sexual contact; and using contraceptives effectively". *
Basically, it is the sum of many factors, but to me the most important one is to be the owner of your sexuality, being responsible for your own choices.
Female sexual empowerment
As a woman, I would say this means to believe in ourselves and know our self-worth. To know and satisfy our sexual needs and desires, no matter what society's standards are on what supposedly corresponds to our role.
Is sexual empowerment a synonym of promiscuity?
I see it more as a synonym of control over decisions, whatever those may be for each one, and it doesn't necessarily mean having multiple sexual partners. It can though, and that is perfectly acceptable.
Being sensual and passionate in your own way, whether that’s in a more timid or more out there way, being open to fully experiencing what you like about your sexuality is what sexual empowerment is about. Sexual empowerment does not need external validation.
There's a relationship between self-esteem and the sense of sexual empowerment, which is a huge ingredient of self-worth.
From my point of view, it’s crucial to say that sexual empowerment also encourages vulnerability. It’s not just about strength and always knowing what you want and keeping it together. It’s also about sometimes feeling hurt, falling apart, lacking knowledge or whatever the case may be, and owning it. Owning the fact that we’re human and we’re on a learning path. Owning the fact that we feel a wide range of emotions and they are ALL valid.
Male sexual empowerment
Yes, sexual empowerment can also exist for men. I’m a feminist and I stand by equal rights. For this reason, I want to be fair and talk about difficulties men also face when it comes to society’s standards and expectations.
Men’s sexuality has always been perceived as having to be assertive, aggressive, sexually adventurous, or emotionally restrained, among many other stereotypes. This puts a huge amount of pressure seeing as men are also humans and cannot fall under one variety of people. There are men who prefer to be more gentle, emotional, vulnerable, etc. All men, all humans at some point feel vulnerable and feel numerous emotions that are not the stereotypical ones. They should feel like they not only are allowed to express these feelings but encouraged to do so.
As most of the topics related to sexuality and the information I post, I have to make a point on education, because it is fundamental to get to know one's sexuality, educate ourselves, and then guide our partners for a more satisfying interaction. Therefore, I encourage you all to stand by what you feel and what you want, express it, share it, be respectful of yourself and others, and embrace yourselves and each other.
If you want to explore more into other topics such as What is an orgasm or Mindfulsex, please have a look at my previous entries.
* Peterson, Z. D. (2010). What is sexual empowerment?
